Does the way I speak matter?

The power of our words and the way we speak is also very similar to the phrase: ‘The power of the tongue’

“The tongue” is used throughout the Bible in both literal and metaphorical ways, especially in Psalms, Proverbs, and James. The tongue is a “small part of the body”


James 3:5:
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

yet Proverbs 18:21 says it “has the power of life and death” –  “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
This holds truth whether we’re speaking of spiritual, physical, or emotional “life and death.”



What our tongue produces has eternal implications, for it reveals what is in our heart. Jesus said that “the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him” (Matthew 12:35).
Isaiah places words with actions for displaying a sinful heart (Isaiah 59:2-3):

But your iniquities have separated you from your God;

your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt.

Your lips have spoken falsely,  and your tongue mutters wicked things.

“Men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36).

A tongue under control is a mark of the Spirit’s power. Apart from accepting Jesus’ atonement on the cross, we will be judged according to our words: “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37).


In order to take Proverbs 18:21 literally – that the tongue can cause physical life and death – we do not need to tax our imagination. Words create actions, good and bad. A judge or jury, by simply saying a word, can cause a person to be go to prison, or to be free. Words often save lives: a doctor advises surgery, a weatherman issues a flood warning, a counselor gives hope to a suicidal person.
Conversely, words can also kill: murders are often initiated because of arguments or verbalized hatred. In the sense of causing action, then, the tongue does indeed have the power of life and death. A prime example of the impact of words which affect a lot of women today is on body image and the low self esteem we can feel when facing this issue.



Emotions are powerfully affecting, yet they are vulnerable to injury. James describes the tongue as “a fire” (James 3:6) – and who has not been burned by it? Proverbs 15:4 describes a “healing” tongue as “a tree of life” As much as love is an action, what would romance be without words? Encouragement often comes through spoken words. So does discouragement. “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18).

The wound is emotional, and it is deep. What we say can have a profound effect on others. Let’s be more mindful of people’s emotions!
We then did an exercise, using 3 of the categories above; Spiritual, Physical and Emotional, and each lady would list the below implications under each of them:

Binge eating

Accepting depression

Sending nude photos

Being dumped




What heading would you put these implications under? ^ try it!


God made us expressive beings, so we are nearly lost without communication. Indeed, speech has enormous implications, especially as a vehicle for sharing the gospel.

Romans 10:14:

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

A Christian’s speech should consistently honor the Lord with the tongue. This is purely spiritual and a journey – just take more time in getting to know God and the rest shall fall in place:)

What an excellent meeting this was – thank you to the ladies who joined us at this excellent meeting!

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