Why wait to have sex?



Why wait?

Sex is everywhere these days it’s almost as if you can’t get away from it. In our society today premarital sex is the norm. This makes it really hard especially as young Christians to abstain. People around you may be-little you or make fun of you because you are not conforming to the norm. Many people feel that abstaining from sex before marriage is ‘outdated’ or ‘old-school’. If you dig deep within the scriptures you will see that people were as edgy as they were during the Old Testament times as they are now. Paul would not have needed to write so many letters if they were all goody two- shoes

When dealing with such a controversial topic it is crucial that we ground ourselves in the word of God. The word of God is Life!

Hebrews 4:12:

12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.


What does the bible tell us about premarital sex?

1 Corinthians 7:2:

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

1 Thessalonians 4:3:

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 6:18:

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

So, first things first, what is sexual immorality?

Sexual immortality is referring to sex outside the confines of marriage. Paul told the Corinthians that in order to overcome all the sexual immorality taking place within Corinth they should get married and practice sex as man and wife.

Disclaimer: Please do not mistake this for getting married simply to be able to have sex. He was eluding to the fact that God intended sex to be confined within marriage.

So by no means rush into a marriage with someone just to be able to have sex!


God created sex to be enjoyed by man and wife. It is not a taboo or anything to hide, it is something beautiful.

Matthew 19:4-5:

“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’[a]” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’[b]

Sex strengthens the bond between two individuals, enables them to connect on another level and bring life into the world.

Going back to 1 Thessalonians 4:3 it states that it is the will of God for us to abstain from sexual immorality. It is important for us to remember that we are in a relationship with God, not a dictatorship.

As Christians we sometimes reduce Christianity to a list of do’s and don’ts which does not do us any favours because we pick and choose the principles and values we want to adhere to and rebel against the rest.

These principles and values are there to protect us. We should take them all seriously. God loves us and wants to keep us out of harm’s way.


Where’s the harm in premarital sex?

1 Corinthians 6:15:

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”[d] 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

Sex is a physical and spiritual connection. God wants to protect us from ‘becoming one’ with the wrong kind of spirits. The spiritual realm may not be obvious but it is real!

Hebrews 6:12:

12 Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.

Sex may appear as ‘not that deep’ but it’s deeper than we think. We have to be mindful of the kind of spirits we are connecting to. In waiting we give ourselves time to get to know people and test their spirit.

1 John 4:

Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. 

Galatians 5:22-23:

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!


It essential that we ask God for wisdom and discernment concerning the people that we let into our lives.


1 Corinthians 6:18:

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

We are told to run from sexual immorality. This is definitely more easily said than done. Sexual desires can be very strong and overpower ones way of thinking. However, if we let these desires lead us we can get ourselves into some pretty sticky situations.

It’s not easy, that is why God tells us to run. Things can escalate very quickly and you often hear people say ‘It just happened’.

There are times when you are minding your own business and temptation comes knocking at your door. In these situations we can take notes from Joseph, he did not waste any time.

Genesis 39:12:

12 She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.

However, with the ‘it just happened’ scenarios there are often events leading up to it. The DMs… *eyes emoji*. In these instances we need to run from the situations that could lead to ‘the situation’.


At the end of the day God created sex to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage, to create a unique physical and spiritual bond between individuals and to enable them to bring life into the world. This has become lost in translation in today’s society but we have to be bold and stand firm in the word of God.

Leviticus 18: 1-5

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Give the following instructions to the people of Israel. I am the Lord your God. So do not act like the people in Egypt, where you used to live, or like the people of Canaan, where I am taking you. You must not imitate their way of life. You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the Lord your God. If you obey my decrees and my regulations, you will find life through them. I am the Lord.



Written by Bernie.x

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