Purpose driven marriage
People have many different reasons for getting married:
‘’We love each other’’.
‘’We want a family’’.
‘’We have the same values and life goals’’
‘’We want to have the legal protections of marriage’’.
‘’We want companionship’’.
Marriage has benefits, but God has a plan for marriages that extends beyond personal benefits.
Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. (Genesis 1:28)
Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalms 127:3); they bring great pleasure and happiness to the family unit. But they are not just gifted to bring joy. God has a plan and a purpose for their lives even before they are born.
For example, before John the Baptist was born an angel appeared to his father, Zechariah and told him the kind of man that his son would become.
13 But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John. 14 You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great in the eyes of the Lord. He must never touch wine or other alcoholic drinks. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even before his birth. 16 And he will turn many Israelites to the Lord their God. 17 He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah. He will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly.”
Yes, the scriptures tell us to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). But it’s not just about having children, in Malachi 2:15 it states that God wants ‘’Godly children from your union’’. Parents have a great responsibility in instilling godly principles and values within their children, so that they will be able to fulfil God’s plan for their lives. This is a huge task, but the Lord will strengthen you and equip you to fulfil this role (Philippians 4:13).
15 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.
- Model Christ’s love
Ephesians 5:21 -25
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Saviour of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.
This scripture turns a lot of heads because many people view it as a power struggle. But it has got nothing to do with power. It’s not about who is the head/neck/ tail, it’s all about sacrifice and this sacrifice works both ways.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When a man and wife are joined together in holy matrimony, the two become one. Realisation needs to happen that it is not about you anymore, it’s all about the unit. This does not mean you can never do what you want, however you have to consider your other half in everything you do.
In essence you both have to die to self and to your own pride and selfish desires. As a wife submits to her husband, she gives her entire self to him, to support him, encourage him, and meet him at his point of need. As for the husband, he loves his wife unconditionally as Christ loved the church. As Christ laid down his life for the church out of love, he must also lay down himself for his wife and serve her. So irrespective of whoever is the head or the tail, both serve a purpose and ultimately serve each other, the same way that Christ humbled himself and served us.
Marriage is a model of Christs love. Christ’s love is the only true love. People are so quick to say I love you, but what kind of love are you loving on people with?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
This kind of love is not easy and it involves teamwork, sacrifice and compromise. But this is the kind of love that conquers all. The kind of love that will be there for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer and in sickness and in health.
If it was not for us receiving this love through Christ, where would we be today?
Marriage is not a destination, it’s not something you tick off your bucket list, rather a life-long journey. We can easily lose sight of God because of our own reasons for getting married. But it is important for us to remember that it is God who joins man and woman for HIS glory.
‘’Let no one split apart what God has joined together’’. (Mark 10:9)